Q: What was the cause of the monkey becoming endangered?

A: They burned down the trees and ruined the land, and still the monkey survived.

They poisoned the bananas and drained the seas, and still the monkey survived.

They developed new weapons, brought in the best hunters, and still the monkey survived.

When all looked lost, when it had nowhere else to go, I let the monkey hide in my home, like a member of the family, safe from the predators, safe from the hands of man.

The monkey played with my children. The monkey ate from my fridge. The monkey played in my yard. All was well.

The monkey unlocked the door to my study. The monkey soiled my comic books. The monkey deleted all the shows on my DVR.

Now the monkey must die.