Q: How long can a human live without water but with food and other drinks?

A: A human being can live up to two years subsisting on nothing but a diet of cookie dough and maple syrup and  I have the scientific data to prove it.

By scientific data, I mean my cousin, Mitch, who has been locked in my basement for the past two years. Every couple of weeks I toss down a package of cookie dough and a couple quarts of syrup. I can assure you he's very much alive. I heard him moving around last night.

Fine, if you insist on being obstinate, I will show you. Step back, he may charge when I open the door. He didn't exactly volunteer for my experiment and has threatened to kill me many times.

Let me see, which key is it? There we go. And voila!

Okay, Mitch, you can come out.

Mitch!

Mitch?

Oh dear God.

Earlier claims I made about the ability of humans to live on a diet of maple syrup and cookie dough may have been false. However, it does appear that cockroaches can thrive on such a diet, as long as it's mixed in with the right amount of corpse.