Q: What is in a red eyed tree frogs habitat?

A: Despite what you older brother may have told you, their habitat consists of more than a leaf, a twig, an empty Jim Beam bottle and a copy of FHM from 2002.

First of all, I'm pretty sure red eyed tree frogs don't drink bourbon. They're probably pot heads. Hence the red eyes. Put a bong in there or something.

And I highly doubt they read FHM. They seem more like the Maxim type.

Plus, there should probably be dirt in there, or mud. Yes mud. If you don't have any mud, try chocolate ice cream. That's close enough.

You know what would really spruce up this habitat? A G.I. Joe.

Don't put a Crimson Guard in there. Give him a good one, like a Storm Shadow or Destro.

There. Now his home is really coming together.

Now for the final touch: a roll of quarters, so the frog can play poker with his friend.

Now, shake it all up and ...

Um, your frog's not moving.

Well, I got to go. The Post Office doesn't pay me to hang around with kids all day.

Despite my repeated requests.