Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Q: What do the codes on plastic containers mean?

A: What you call codes, we call labels.

For instance, this combination of letters and numbers is not a hidden message, but a word. 7-Up. It's a delicious and refreshing carbonated beverage, packaged in a plastic two liter bottle.

This container contains caramel popcorn. That's why the label says "Caramel Corn." Not a code. Nothing secret, but an explanation. You can read a label and know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, what's in the container.

This label says "Mayonnaise."

I bet I know what's in this container.

I bet it's mayonnaise.

Yup, I was right.

Mayonnaise.

The label told me the truth. That's what labels do. They tell the truth.

Now, can you guess what's in that container you're holding, the one with the hand written label that says "Mom's Ashes"?

That's a nice guess, but does it really taste like cake batter?

Guess again. Maybe without eating another spoonful first.

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Ryan Callahan has written, produced, or directed shows for ABC, A&E, SHowtime, The CW, TVLand, Animal Planet and other networks even lower on your dial. When not making TV, or writing fake answers, he reads books, buys books, or buys books to read later. Follow WikiFakeAnswers on Twitter and Facebook