Sunday, February 13, 2011

Q: Why did the colonists move west?

A: They wanted to find a little peace, maybe a little prosperity. They wanted some land of there own, a little piece of heaven where they could build a house, start a farm, raise a family. They wanted to stop running, stop waking up every night in a cold sweat, stop looking over their shoulder all the time.

They thought if they got far enough away from the big cities, far enough away from civilization, they could understand what it really means to be a man, to live off the land, to be one with nature.

They thought if they built a deep enough well, surrounded it with thick enough stone, placed it far enough away from town, they could carry on their experiments to their hearts content, all day and all night, never having to worry about judgment or discovery or arrest.

That was the dream at least.

But I guess every dream has to die someday.

Like those prostitutes.

Honestly, I never thought anyone would miss them. Maybe I should I stick to Chinamen. No one seemed to miss them. Well, hindsight is 20/20.

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Ryan Callahan has written, produced, or directed shows for ABC, A&E, SHowtime, The CW, TVLand, Animal Planet and other networks even lower on your dial. When not making TV, or writing fake answers, he reads books, buys books, or buys books to read later. Follow WikiFakeAnswers on Twitter and Facebook