A: An oversized foam finger indicting that your favorite team is number 1. That's why we make them, to help the momentarily grotesque feel less self-conscious.
I'm sorry we don't have any comically oversized foam cowboy hats in stock to cover your head. I've never seen one so swollen.
Are you allergic to shellfish, or did you get stung by an army of bees?
It's always been like that?
Your poor mother.
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