Q: How do they say congratulations in Hawaiian?

A: The same way we say it on the mainland. They simply say "congratulations," but in a dry, deadpan voice. Then they clap their hands, three times, real slow.

Something like this:

"Congratulations."

-clap-

-clap-

-clap-

You'll think that other people will join in on the applause, bringing it to a crescendo of joy and acceptance, but that's not what happens. They'll just clap three times, stop, and walk away.

Oh, they'll also shake their head, and mutter something under their breath as they walk away.

That's how they say congratulations in Hawaii. I did only hear it the one time, right after I told the hotel manager that I impregnated his daughter.