Q: Why won't my painted surface dry?

A: You are crying. You are experiencing what we humans call sadness. That's why your mascara is running.

I know you had big plans. You figured if you put on enough makeup, picked out the right wig and wore a pretty dress, you could pass for a human girl, win the heart of Steve Dexter and become prom queen.

I'm sorry that Steve turn and ran as soon as he saw you. That wasn't right. He didn't have to throw that drink in your face. He didn't have to spray you with the fire house. I think he might have overreacted.

But, can you really blame him?

You can slather on all the rouge and mascara and lipstick in the world, but you'll still be an alien, from the deepest reaches of space. And everyone will always know. There's not enough makeup in the world to make that purple, blistered, rocky skin of yours look human.

Even if you could pass, even if there was enough makeup, your behavior would still give you away. Human girls don't eat basketballs. Human don't drink motor oil. Human girls can't stick to walls. Human girls don't have highly acidic saliva.

You're better than those human girls in so many ways. Steve Dexter doesn't know what he's missing. Now let's get back in there and show those stuck up rich kids how to party!