Q: Why don't a lot of people graduate?

A: Because college is wicked hard.

They expect you to go to class, like, two or three times a week, for an hour at a time. At that's not just one class. I'm talking four, maybe five classes. You add that all up and I'm expected to be in class, like, 15 hours a week. And that's just class time. That's not counting all the time they want you to spend on your own, reading.

So, now you're talking about 20, maybe even 25 hours a week I'm focusing on school work. And that's for almost eight months of out of the year. When am I supposed to find the time to concentrate on what's really important, like finding myself as a person? Or learning to manipulate women? Or figuring out who the weak links are in a group of friends?

College just isn't for me, Dad. There are too many demands on my time and it's taking away from my art.

So, I've decided to forgo my remaining years of eligibility and announce my desire to turn pro.

I'm joining the NGL.

And I really hope your team drafts me.

I don't see what's so funny.

What do you mean there's no such thing as the National Grifting League?

Why have I been buying all that team merchandise? And those DVDs? And books? And what about all those League Championships you took me to as a kid?

It was all a con?

You conned your own son out of his life savings, left to him by his dead mother?

Damn. You are good.

Well, I guess I'll go back to college.

I'm sure they'll be happy to have me back at Flim Flam University.

Hey, where did the campus go?