Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Q: What happens when you spray the trunk of a palm tree with spray paint?

A: We let everyone know that this park belongs to the Vipers and that, if they step foot in here, they should expect to be robbed, and beaten, possibly raped, depending on their attractiveness, at the very least yelled at, or, depending on their physical stature and their approximate level of fitness, merely stared at with menace, until they make eye contact, at which point we will adjust our gaze downward and mutter something under our breath.

We also let rival gangs know that we have claimed this park, that we go by the name The Vipers, that their suggested names, such as Sissyboys and Sallyasses and Little-Miss-Nancies-Go-Home-And-Cry-To-Your-Momma, will no longer be tolerated.

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Ryan Callahan has written, produced, or directed shows for ABC, A&E, SHowtime, The CW, TVLand, Animal Planet and other networks even lower on your dial. When not making TV, or writing fake answers, he reads books, buys books, or buys books to read later. Follow WikiFakeAnswers on Twitter and Facebook