Q: How tall is James Bond?

A: He stands over 6 feet tall, but once that laser beam reachs him, he'll be about half that.

Do you hear me, Mr. Bond? I intend to cut you down to size.

Damn, I wish we hadn't beaten him so much before we strapped him to that steel plate and started the laser. It would be nice if he could hear me taunt him. Throw some water at him and try to wake him.

Another bucket.

One more.

Wow. He's really out. We must have given him a concussion.

That leaser's going to tear right through him and I won't even hear him scream or anything. Kind of feels like a waste.

To be honest with you, I expected more of fight out of James Bond. Especially after all those movies I watched as a kid.

I also expected him to be younger. And fitter. And more athletic.

I didn't expect him to cry so much. Or to beg for his life. Or soil himself.

All rather disappointing.

You know what else is weird?

Right before we captured him, I heard him introduce himself to someone, not as "Bond. James Bond," but as "George Lazenby."

What kind of a code name is George Lazenby?