Q: How much do you make hourly?

A: I can make anywhere from $10 to $40 an hour, depending on the number of calls I take, the length of the calls, and the location of the calls.

I get a higher commission on international calls. But since we had our reservation recognized as a sovereign nation, every call is technically international. My uncle thought of that. He's also the one who hired me. He's a pretty nice guy, but he can be kind of a dick when the Sooners lose.

All in all, it's a pretty good gig. The hours aren't bad, I don't have to worry about office politics because there's really no office, just a supply closet, and as long as I answer the phone by the fifth ring, my uncle won't throw a chair at my head. There's no benefits, but I make enough to make ends me, with enough left over to go out every once in a while and buy myself something nice. Last week, I bought a new Gucci bag. It's a knock off, but you can't tell. I love it!

So, do you want me to talk dirty now, or should I tell you some more shopping stories?