Q: How do you Replace rod bearing?

A: Quite simply, no one can replace Rod Bearing.

He's the finest salesman I have ever seen. He could sell ice to an Eskimo, water to a drowning man, veal to a vegan.

I once saw him sell a box of used matches to a Nobel prize winner on a dare.

He was the top salesman from January '96 to April '08, selling useless pieces of swamp to retirees over the phone. Half these people couldn't even afford phones, but that didn't stop Rod.

There will be no replacing Rod Bearing.

On a metaphorical level.

On a literal level, you will be replaced by that guy over there. His name is Hank Jennings. He's my wife's nephew. He's a bit of an imbecile, but, well, you know how these things work. You're Rod Bearing, nothing gets by you!

Thanks again, Rod. It's been a pleasure.

Security will escort you out.