Q: Where is the singer heavy d now?

A: He's probably out on tour, living the life of a rap star and having sex with a different beautiful woman every night.

There's no way he's an assistant manager at Rite Aid.

As my name tag clearly states, my name is Dwight.

I weigh 238 pounds, which while overweight, does not make me "Heavy."

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go clean up some vomit in aisle 4.