Q: What is the difference between Tad Tree and Dates Tree?

A: Tad looks both ways before crossing the street. Dates runs out into traffic.

Tad helps his mother wash the dishes after a meal. Dates buries the dishes in the backyard, along with his collection of erotic novels and all the G.I. Joe figures he has defiled over the years.

Tad helps old ladies cross the street and carries their groceries. Dates pushes old ladies down flights of stairs while dancing a jig.

Tad died in a hunting accident six years ago. Dates stole his identity and has been married to you for six years.

I should have said something sooner. I planned to object at the wedding, but I just didn't want to cause a scene.