Q: How do you get your hp laptop to turn on after hibernating?

A: Pour whiskey on it. If that doesn't work, try calling it a disappointment while shaking it. If your computer still won't wake up, pelt it with lit cigarettes.

I admit, I don't know much about computers, but I do know a lot about sleeping in. That's how my father would get me out of bed.

I'm just kidding.

My father would never waste whiskey.