Q: How do you find the ghost in Skullduggery Island?

A: Yeah, about that ...

Here's the thing, when your Mom divorced me, I was awarded joint custody. I really would have preferred a custody system based on my mood, my dating prospects, and my interest in that weekend's slate of televised games. But I was overruled. As I result, I get you every other weekend, for the whole weekend, regardless of my own plans.

An old friend of mine was in town this weekend, someone who had been through a tough time. Newly divorced, wondering where she went wrong, full of self-doubt. Vulnerable. When you're older you'll understand a girl like that will do anything to feel loved. And I mean anything.

The last thing I needed was some kid hanging around, laughing and smiling, cheering her up and making her think that maybe her problems aren't so bad. Plus, the 2257 laws forbid the presence of children near an adult film set.

I needed you out of here and I needed you out of here quick. I made up some nonsense about that island in the park being an ancient pirate burial ground full of treasure and ghosts, knowing your quest would take all weekend and end with disappointment.  Along the way, I taught you a valuable lesson about trust.

Don't trust anyone.

There's no need to cry, son. I'll make it up to you the next time you visit. I hear there's a cabin deep in the woods that was built by some sort of eccentric chocolatier. Legend says it's full of candy and sweets and all the treats a boy could want. I'll go out there with you as soon as you get here.

I promise.