Q: Is air considered matter?

A: On a molecular level, yes. On a useful, super-heroic level, no.

When you first showed up at our headquarters and introduced yourself as Matter-Eater Lad, I admit, we all had a good laugh. Just to be clear, the laugh was at your expense. Can you really blame us? Here we are, the Legion of Super-Heroes, the greatest superhero organization in the universe, and you show up, a fat kid with a ridiculous name. We figured we could make you run errands, trip you in the halls, smack your belly until you cry, then run you out of town, like we did with Metric Conversion Boy. But cooler heads prevailed and someone, probably Superboy, said "Hey, let's give this Lad a chance. His ability to consume all forms of matter might come in useful."

You see what happened there. He assumed you could consume all forms of matter. Planets. Gases. Missiles. Intergalactic telepathic starfish. Sentient supercomputers. Boats. Matter that, when consumed, might prove useful.

But you can't. All you seem to be able to "consume" is air.

You might call yourself Matter-Eater Lad, but you're nothing more than a fat kid trying to catch his breath. Was the name Constant-Disappointment-To-Parents Lad already taken?