Q: How can the President persuade Congress to pass a bill?

A: Convincing Congress to set aside their partisan differences and actually do their job is one of the most difficult, and unfortunately, most common tasks required of the President. Luckily, there are a few proven methods.

Use eloquent locution to convince them that the nation needs this bill passed now, more than ever. All it takes is a few well-crafted sentences, some well timed pauses, and the occasional podium thump.

Use the power of the liberal media to shame them into passing the bill or risk months and months of negative coverage during the campaign. All it takes is a few calls to the New York Times.

Use backroom political maneuvering - good, old-fashioned glad-handing and arm-twisting - to get them to do your bidding. All is takes is a new missile silo here, a new bridge there and a severe cut in arts funding.

Yes, sir, you have any number of tactics at your disposal. You can do almost anything. Almost anything.

One thing you cannot do, sir, is use military force. That far exceeds your powers as Commander-In-Chief. It's illegal, immoral, and if I may be frank, sir, rather petty.

It doesn't matter what the Speaker called you, sir, you can't have Seal Team 6 take him out.

You can't use Robot Shark Team 6 either, sir. Even if they did exist. Which I cannot confirm.