Q: Is it bad to have really long hair in the army?

A: If there's one thing the Army loves, it's long, lustrous hair. That, and personal expression. We feel that every soldier should have two basic rights:
               
                   1.) The right to express their personality in any way they see fit.
                   2.) The right to proudly display their glorious, flowing locks of hair.

What would cripple the morale of an opposing army faster,  an overwhelming display of force by wave after wave of bland, generic, clean-cut drones, or a six hour long interpretative dance performed by a merry band of colorful free-spirits?

Clearly the free-spirits would have the edge.

In fact, I think your hair isn't long enough. We ought to put in some extensions - really style it up, make you look fabulous.

Have a seat in this chair and we'll get to work. This will be great. We could even frost your tips.

Close your eyes, I want this to be surprise.

I don't hear any buzzing. You must be hearing something.

Electric razor? I don't even know what those words mean.

KEEP YOUR EYES CLOSED, MAGGOT!