Q: What movies have Hailey Duff been in?

A: Hailey Duff, one of our finest young actors, and a national treasure, has appeared in dozens of movies, such as Napolean Dynamite, My Sexiest Year, and Foodfight!

But I feel her best work has been in a multi-part epic film of my own making, called The Greatest Movie Ever.

Would you like to see it?

Look how wonderful she is here in this scene, walking into a Starbucks to get coffee. So radiant. So beautiful. So natural, like she has no idea she is even being filmed.

Here's another great scene: Look at the way she walks to her car in this deserted parking lot, then turns suddenly, like she knows she's being followed. Such amazing instincts.

This scene's my favorite. Look how she sleeps. So calm. So peaceful. Like a little angel. Nothing can disturb her, not even the sound of someone opening up her closet and trying on all her clothes.

I've been working on this film for eight years now. It's about 356 hours long. Friends who have seen the whole thing tell me I should cut it down, but they don't know what they're talking about. I think it's perfect. Just like Hailey Duff.

Hand me that night vision lens. I think she's about to unlock the door.