Q: What is the title of the movie based on Jeffery Dahmer?

A: I'm still working on the title. I'm thinking of either "You Look Delicious" or "Fridgeful of Collars." I've got most of the script written and I've already filmed a number of scenes.

I, of course, play Jeffrey Dahmer. I don't like to toot my own horn, but I am incredible. Production has kind of stalled. I'm still looking for the right person to play victim number 3.

You know what? The way that light hits you ... Has anyone ever told you that you resemble James Doxtator?

Wow, it's uncanny. Look, this may be a bit forward, but would you be interested in coming back to my place and being in a movie. All you need to do is get high, let me strangle you and then melt your flesh with acid.

Why would anyone think you are gay?

Oh, this has nothing to do with the Jeffrey Dahmer movie. This would be for a side project of mine.

Now drink up!