Q: What is the name for the thing Chinese people pull people in for transportation?

A: That would be a rickshaw. It's a perfectly reasonable mode of transportation. Even for a cop.

Sure, I would prefer to drive a car, but I can't do that anymore. After my eleventh high speed chase resulted in the deaths of six pedestrians and over 18 million in property damage, my license was suspended and I was forced to transfer out of the Major Case Squad. I stand by my decision to initiate the chase. The perp was the fourth car to turn left through a red light. Nobody slows down traffic in my city.

When they ran me out of Major Case, my Captain asked me where I didn't want to go, so he would know where not to send me. I told them they can put me anywhere, I don't care, as long as they don't put me in Santa Monica and make me a bike cop.

I hate the beach.

And I can't ride a bike.

You'll notice we're in Santa Monica. You'll notice I'm wearing spandex shorts. Guess where I got transferred?

You can understand why I need the rickshaw.