Q: Why is the left ventricle of the heart bigger than the right side?

A: You have a bullet lodged in there. That's also why it's bleeding.

I told you to grab a vest before we left the station. But you wouldn't listen.

I told you to wait for my signal before charging in the house. Again, not good at listening.

And I'm pretty sure I told you to seek cover when the shooting starts, to hide behind a door, or flip over a table. I'm pretty sure I didn't tell you to dive through the window, scream, then stand in the middle of the room firing your gun in every direction.

I have to admit, it was pretty funny when you dove through that window and yelled "Supplies!"

We all got a good laugh out of that. We tell that joke all the time down at the station.

Those drug dealers were pretty surprised, too. Not as surprised as you were, once you realized we had loaded your gun with blanks.

I probably should have told you about that. We don't allow civilians to carry loaded weapons. Department policy. Sorry about that.

Of all the actors we've had ride along with us to research a role, you are the most fun. And the best cop.

Your ridiculous heroics created enough of a distraction that we were able to enter, through the back door, and take out those drug dealers, without a single shot fired.

Except for all those shots they fired at you.

Nevertheless, we're all really proud of you. Your heroism will not go unnoticed. The Commissioner plans to give you a medal.

Posthumously, of course.