Q: Who discovered the grand cannon?

A: A rebel pilot, sir. Some farmboy from a distant, backwards planet.

It seems he impressed the Rebel Alliance with his pluck and moxie and "can-do-spirit." They made him a pilot, and allowed him to fly in their assault, despite the fact that he has never flown a warship, has no military training whatsover, and is only a few weeks removed from farming dirt.

It's a real rags to riches story.

To make matters worse, the boy seems to have stumbled upon the cannon by sheer luck. He claims to have been following the advice of a robot and a wise man who lived in a cave near his home. As you know sir, robots can't talk. It has come to my attention that this wise man was murdered by one of our senior officers last week.

Obviously this boy is crazy, sir. I'm told he's also carrying on a romantic relationship with a girl who is very clearly his sister. You know how these country people are.

We'll simply have to chalk the loss of the cannon up to bad luck.

Don't worry, sir. We've already started building a new one, a far better one. One that can blow up planets half way across the universe. We've learned from our mistakes. We will not place the cannon's power source at the end of a small tunnel, unexposed and undefended, so that anyone could close their eyes, fire off a lucky shot and destroy it.

This time we've hid the power source on a distant moon, populated with peaceful primitive, bear-like creatures. We even stationed guards there. Two guards. Two of our most acceptable men.

What could possibly go wrong?