Q: What is Dominos Pizza's Mission Statement?

A: 1.) Domino's Pizza will make the best pizza, from the freshest ingredients.

2.) Domino's Pizza will hand deliver a piping hot pizza directly to your door, in thirty minutes or less.

3.) If sales suffer and we lose market share, Domino's Pizza will admit that our pizza is not all that great.

4.) Domino's Pizza will not go into detail. We will not admit that our crust tastes like cardboard, our ingredients have clearly been frozen, and that our cheese-like topping bears no relation to an actual dairy product.

5.) Domino's Pizza will not offer refunds for ruined pizza parties, or birthdays, or first dates. We will merely offer an apology.

6.) Domino's Pizza will announce a new recipe and encourage America to give us a second chance.

7.) Domino's pizza will continue to prey on the naivete of America.

8.) Most importantly, Domino's Pizza will always, forever, tirelessly, avoid the Noid.