Q: Is Anna a saint?

A: Is that what she's been telling you?

Is that why you have been leaving those sandwiches outside her house every day?

Is that why you have been giving her your allowance every week?

Is that why you have been carrying those signs that say "St. Anna needs your help" outside her store?

Anna is not a saint. She is a drug dealer. Specifically, a pharmacist, licensed by the state of California to dispense medicinal marijuana.

She's not a saint.

She has been lying to you.

Anna's manipulating you because she can't handle the competition. I have better product, in more varieties, at better prices. She'll be out of business soon and she knows it.

She's desperate, and will do anything to survive.

I never saw this one coming. I give her credit. I never thought she'd turn my own brother against me. I thought you were hooking up with her. I didn't know you were convinced she was a saint.

Those signs should have been a hint. And all that self flagellation. And that mural you made.

I just thought she was good in bed.

Saints usually don't ask you to kill people, just so you know. That goes against the whole concept of saintliness.

It's obviously too late now, but, in the future, when a "saint" asks you to stab someone, someone like your own brother, you should stop and ask yourself "Is this something a saint would do? Am I being misled? Can I trust this person?"

Make sure you ask yourself those questions before you commence stabbing, and not after, not once you've called the saint on the phone and she laughs at you.