Q: How do you write a film review?

A: Usually I jot down some notes right after the movie ends, my immediate thoughts and reactions. Then I go home and rough out a brief outline. I step away from the material for a while, take a walk and let all the information percolate in my brain. After maybe an hour or so of percolation, I return home, sit down at my desk, and write the review, as quickly as possible. I reread the review eight or ten times, making slight changes, tweaking sentences and making sure the review is as enjoyable and informative as possible. Then I send the review off to my editor and call it a night.

Now, that is my normal process. I usually review feature films. I have never written a review for a snuff film before. I may have to do things a little differently.

My immediate reaction?

You sure killed that guy. Yup, he looked terrified, too.

No, I don't need to see it again. I think I can start writing my review now. You'll have to untie me first. I use my arms to write.

Oh, look, you have a tape recorder. You really have thought of everything.

If only you had put this much thought into the writing and directing of your snuff film.