Friday, December 31, 2010

Q: Why is follow through used with rackets?

A: That's how we make money.

Look, I'll explain it once more time, for the last time.

We offer protection to local businessmen and merchants and shop owners and landlords. They pay us a tidy sum every week to keep their businesses safe. To stop them from being robbed, or shot up, or burned to the ground. If they don't pay us the protection, we rob them, or shoot them up or burn their places to the the ground. You see how this works? Do you understand?

You're shaking your head. Okay. I'll make this real simple. We are the criminals. We will rob these people and steal from them and hurt them unless they pay us not to do so. They give us money, cash money. I'd say that's a pretty good racket.

But for it to work, we have to follow through. We have to visit these merchants every week and collect the protection money. We can't just threaten them once and then sit at home and expect the money to pour in. We can't just set up a Paypal account and hand out our email and expect people to send us money. We have to go out there, every week, every day, and remind these people what will happen if they don't pay us.

Yes, that involves leaving the house. Today. Right now.

I don't think agoraphobia is a real thing. I think you are just lazy.

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Ryan Callahan has written, produced, or directed shows for ABC, A&E, SHowtime, The CW, TVLand, Animal Planet and other networks even lower on your dial. When not making TV, or writing fake answers, he reads books, buys books, or buys books to read later. Follow WikiFakeAnswers on Twitter and Facebook