Q: Who is the best female saint of kindness?

A: For my money, you can't beat Saint Kelly. She's over on 7th and A, above the dry cleaners.

For an extra twenty dollars, she'll throw in some special kindness, if you know what I mean.

I mean she'll tell you she loves you when she hugs you.

I just wanted to be clear.

In the past, some people have misinterpreted my words and expected Saint Kelly to do some pretty nasty things.

Absolutely filthy.

Those type of things cost a lot more than twenty dollars.