Q: Is a father considered a relative?

A: Why must you go out of your way to hurt me?

I know I wasn't the best father. I was on the road a lot, on the grift, trying to make ends meet.

I may have missed your high school graduation, and your college graduation, and your wedding. I was very busy. Long cons take a lot of work.

Even though I wasn't always there for you, I am still your father.

I know because I had sex with your mother nine months before she had you.

I still have the tape to prove it.

That means we are related, by blood, for life.

Since you are a blood relative, my son in fact, I want to give you first crack at this exciting offer.

I have a friend, a very wealthy friend, a prince if you must know. He is in possession of a large sum of money. However, he finds himself incarcerated and unable to access his fortune.