Q: What stone problem would cause pain in the middle of your back on the left side?

A: Here at Shirley Jackson's "The Lottery" Fantasy Camp, we like to think of stones as solutions, not problems. Solutions to the problems caused by the undue stress of the modern world. We believe that there isn't a problem in the world that can't be solved by being pelted to death with stones thrown by angry strangers.

Your particular solution was a large one, thrown by that girl over there. The one with the pretty dress and the bloodthirsty eyes and the poor aim.

We started this Fantasy Camp as a joke. We never really thought anyone would attend. We were surprised when you showed up, and brought your whole family with you.

I take it you never read the book.

Or, you read it, and you don't know what words mean.

Either way, here come more stones!

You are welcome.