Q: Can you deal with infidelity in your relationship?

A: You sure can. The best way to deal with infidelity is to keep it totally secret. Create a fake identity and only have sex with strangers in town on business. Buy a prepaid cell phone. Always pay cash. It's the little things like that that will help you hide your infidelities for decades.

Oh. I see. You're not the perpetrator of then infidelity. You're the victim.

Have you tired dressing a little nicer? And not crying so much?

You have?

Then I got nothing.

Wait. You could sleep with me. That would show him, wouldn't it? Wouldn't it?

And here come the tears again.