Q: Why do people usually not purchase dented cans of food?

A: Because they are snobs. Oh, sure they'll throw a lot of fancy words at you to explain otherwise. It's always "botulism this" or "food poisoning that" or "you crossed out the expiration date with a marker" but it's pretty obvious they think they are better than me.

I tell those people the same thing I'm going to tell you.

If you're too good to buy dented cans of food, then go ahead and shop at Ralphs.

I hope you don't mind walking. Someone seems to have slashed the tires on your car.

And smashed all the windows.

And set it on fire.

Thank you. Come again.