Q: How do you get surf after you beat your dad?

A: The same way you surf any other time: by paddling out there, being patient, timing the tide, catching the wave, leaping on the board, maintaining balance and riding that baby all the way back to shore.

By "baby", I mean "your surf board", not an actual baby. DO NOT RIDE YOUR CHILD!

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell. I'm a little on edge. Maybe it's the weather, maybe it's because I've been drinking too much coffee, maybe it's due to economy-related stress.

Or maybe it's because I just watched you savagely beat your father with a surfboard.

That's probably it. That was unsettling. I did not expect that to happen.

Wow. You got really angry there for a second. That was weird.

Anyway, have fun at the beach. You might want to give your board a good rinse before you head out, unless you want to attract the attention of the police. Or the sharks.