Q: What do you call a person who works in a photo lab and develops photos?

A: Right now I call her Debbie. Someday I hope to call her my wife.

That someday might be today!

I'm popping the question, in picture form.

I dropped off a whole stack of photos to be developed. The last one shows me, on my knees, holding a ring, beneath a sign that says, "Debbie, will you marry me?"

The previous photos contain a wealth of biographical information to help Debbie make her decision. Since we have never actually spoken, she might need to know more about me before she's comfortable. I took photos of my tax documents, my apartment, my collection of stuffed koala bears, everything I could think of.

I even included several photos of my, um, merchandise. I understand ladies like to get a sense of what to expect on their wedding night. I held a Coke can next to it for scale.

I had to use a six ounce can. It looked better that way. A normal can dwarfed my member.

I hope she's not disappointed on our wedding night.

I'm going to bring some stuffed koalas, just to be safe.