Q: Why it is essential for accurate vital signs?

A; Funerals are big business. People love to spend money -  tons of money, more than they can afford - on lavish funerals for their deceased loved ones. I guess they think they money they spend will make up for the love they withheld during their life. Something like that. I don't really know. I don't care to ask. I just cash the checks. All those big checks.

Here's the thing about the funeral business: People keep dying. No matter what we do, no matter what progress scientists make, people keep dying. Every single day. We will always be in demand.

Unless, of course, we break the Golden Rule of Funerals.

Make sure the guy in the coffin is dead. That's the Golden Rule. That's the only rule! That's the most important part of our job.

Always make sure the deceased is deceased. That's all you have to do. That's why we have this stethoscope. And this mirror. And this hammer.

Hit him on the knee with a hammer. If he moves, he's not dead. If he's not dead, hit him on the head with the hammer.

Get on with it, the mourners are getting restless. And I see an attractive widow in need of some vigorous consoling.