Q: Where can you buy a Hollywood size bed frame and mattress?

A: Baby, you can't buy a Hollywood bed frame and mattress. In this town, you gotta earn it. You know what I mean?

Oh, you don't? What I mean is that you gotta be willing to get dirty, real dirty. Know what I'm saying?

Still nothing? The wink didn't help or anything? Okay, this time I'm going to say something real slow-like, and raise my eyebrows and nod suggestively and make that "tick-tick" sound out of the side of my mouth after I say it. Baby, if you want a Hollywood bed frame and mattress, you gotta do whatever it takes, and I mean what-ever it takes.

Still nothing? It's like I'm talking to a mannequin.

Shit. I am talking to a mannequin. I should probably get back on my schizophrenia meds.