Q: Should you pop a zit that is not fully formed yet?

A: You should never pop a zit. It's bad for the skin.

What you have on your neck, however, is not a zit, but a parasitic twin. We knew we'd have to tell you the truth someday, but my mother and I always assumed that time would have been years ago. We never thought you'd  go through your entire childhood, junior high, high school, college, law school, six years in the North Dakota State Senate, 8 years in the U.S. House of Representatives, and four years as Governor of North Dakota without noticing that enormous, throbbing growth on your neck.

It never occurred to us that you would notice your parasitic twin, for the first time, four minutes before your final Presidential debate. That's just bad timing.

So, no, don't pop it. The psychic damage would be unbearable.

But don't listen to it, either. It's far too passionate about funding for the arts. Nobody wants to hear about that during a Presidential election.