Q: What does clicking sound when trying to start indicate?

A: That's the sound of the shattered remains of your fibula grinding against your tibia.

That's why you can't get out of the starting blocks.

We seem to have miscalculated the amount of steriods and growth hormone needed to make you into the word's greatest sprinter. You won't be winning an Olympic gold this year. That's the bad news.

I do have good news. Your performance today guarantees you a place in the record books, under the category "Most Gruesome Leg Injury."

Move over, Theisman, there's a new gimp in town!

You'll appreciate the news more when you're no longer in shock.