Q: Can you pull a ligament in your knee while doing a front handspring?

A: You probably can. But you'd need a reason to do a front handspring.

Like scoring a touchdown.

Judging by the way you're throwing the ball, that's probably not going to happen.

Look, Jay, if you want to come out of the game that badly, you don't have to actually injure yourself. Just say your knee hurts. Quarterbacks get hit on nearly every play. Just start limping around, then at halftime, tell the trainer that your knee really hurts. When they bend it and poke at it, just wince and moan a lot and tell them it really, really hurts.

Oh, and insist on playing. Say you really want to play. That way no one will suspect that you don't actually want to play. That you would rather hide in the dark and sob.

No matter what you do,  keep limping. They're never let you play if you can't put weight on that knee.

Then you can spend the rest of the time on the sideline, all to yourself. That way you don't have to worry about all those mean fans booing you and yelling at you and expect you to care about a game they're only paying you a few million dollars to play. You can even keep wearing your uniform, so you still feel like part of the team.

And I promise, not matter what happens, win or lose, I'll take you to get ice cream.