Q: How do you decrypt a thumb drive?

A: That's not a drive. You are just sticking your thumb in my USB port.

You are not transferring files. You are transferring bacon grease.

Bacon grease is not encrypted.

I should have known something like this would happen.

Your resume consisted solely of the words "IT Guy" and a drawing of a starfish.

"IT Guy" was written in crayon. And spelled wrong.

But we needed someone. So I hired you.

I thought anyone could do this job.

Thank you for proving me wrong.

Your thumb is stuck in my computer, isn't it?

Don't take your pants off.

That won't solve anything.