Q: Why is evidence placed in a paper bag rather than a plastic one?

A: That wasn't evidence. That was my lunch.

Congratulations, you successfully "destroyed" a turkey sandwich on whole wheat, in a court of law, with the entire jury watching. I had high hopes for this case. With your clean-cut good looks and calm demeanor, the age and senility of the prosecution witnesses, the lack of corroborating physical evidence, and the awesome closing argument I wrote over the weekend, I really thought I had a good chance to win. I've never won a trial before and I thought this could be the one. But even if I didn't win, I knew I would enjoy a delicious lunch.

Thanks for ruining everything.