Q: Do you have a Plastic Tank Repair kit?

A: I have the kit. And the experience. And the time. But before you hire me, you should know:

There's no fixing your plastic tank. Your tiny turret is beyond repair, your miniature army will never fight again, those treads will thunder down on enemy troops no more.

There's an old saying in the tiny military: When you wage war on the Chinese, use a real tank. If you are unfamiliar with that saying it might be because of your ignorance of tiny military history, or because I just now made it up. I can't speak to your brain. But the saying remains as true today as when it was first spoke seconds ago; in that saying lay the seeds of your defeat.

I can't fix your tank. If you wish to capture Mr. Ling's Chinese Buffet, seek other means, maybe something other than a toy tank. No matter what you decide, what tactics, what strategy, please remember this one thing:

I really want an egg roll.