Q: Why did your homemade ice cream not thicken?

A: Probably because I didn't use the right amount of cream.

Or sugar.

Or salt.

Or broken glass.

In retrospect, I probably should have used more cream. And more sugar. And more salt. And less broken glass.

Far less broken glass. Far, far less.

None. I probably should have used none. Using broken glass might have been a mistake.

But it wouldn't be "Windshield Surprise" without all that broken glass. It would just be vanilla ice cream. And who wants that?

Oh.

That would explain the lawsuits.