Q: How do you get rid of tan?

A: I have no idea. We've tried everything.

We stopped paying him weeks ago. He didn't leave.

We pumped mustard gas into his office every day at lunch. He didn't leave.

We replaced all his office furniture with rabid badgers and fire ants. He didn't leave.

We shot him in the knee, dragged him from the building, threw him in the trunk of a car, drove him to the desert, beat him with baseball bats, buried him in a shallow grave and left him for dead. The next day, there he was, back in his office, wearing his gas mask, fighting off badgers with one hand, scratching himself raw with the other, perusing expense reports the whole time. He just doesn't get it. He just won't leave.

At some point we're going to have to face the fact the Jeff Tan isn't leaving until we call him into our office, look him in the eye, and tell him he's fired.

Not it.