Q: What do you call a clumsy fellow?

A: Really depends on your definition of clumsy doesn't it?

Would you call someone clumsy who can't grab a seat at the bar without knocking over someone's drink?

Would you call someone clumsy who manages to break a vase every time he visits your house, even though you don't own any vases?

Would you call someone clumsy who can't take a step without tripping over a cord, yanking it out of the wall, which causes a great many problems at his job with the hospital.

Would you call someone clumsy who wears a suit made entirely of bubble wrap, as ordered by the court?

Would you call someone clumsy who's legally forbidden to carry, hold, touch, or even look at a baby?

You would?

Well, then, we call him Stanley. He's the fella at the end of the bar wearing the bubble wrap suit.

I wouldn't get too close; we're letting him play darts tonight.