Why don't you follow his advice?
How does it feel in there? Are you all comfy and cozy?
I'm going to close the lid to give you a better sense of the box. Your eyes can play tricks on you. In the darkness, fingers never lie.
Disregard the sound of ripping tape. It's completely unrelated.
I forgot to mention this before you climbed in there, but I noticed you lost weight. How much you weigh these days?
Great. How much is that in kilograms?
No reason.
Something fell on the box. It's not taped shut or anything. Something fell on top, something heavy enough to keep the flaps closed but light enough to not crush it. Don't worry, help is on the way.
Hey, listen, I'm going to have to take off. Good luck with your whole measuring-the-size-of-the-box-thing. I hope it's as successful as that time you made that video of me crying in the shower and sent it to everyone in the senior class.
Funny how I never got you back for that hilarious prank. Well, you know what they say about revenge being best served cold.
Speaking of cold, do you have any idea how expensive it is to ship a package to Siberia?
