Q: What islands in the Caribbean that have Spanish as their primary language?

A: Cuba, Puerto Rico and the Dominican Republic are all Spanish speaking islands. Any of those islands would be a perfect place for you to disappear, blend in and start a new life. That is, if you could actually speak Spanish.

You can't speak Spanish.

All those classes you've been taking, all those lessons, all those words ... Those were all a joke. We taught you a gibberish language, completely made up by Bob. We haven't taught you one word of Spanish.

We thought it was a pretty funny joke. And we all had a good time doing it. We figured you'd realize eventually. We figured you'd try and use your "Spanish" to order a meal, or pick up a girl, or impress a co-worker.

We never thought you wanted to learn Spanish so you could create a new identity, and go into hiding in the Caribbean, after pulling off the largest jewel heist in the history of Omaha.

So, yeah, you probably won't be able to hide in the Spanish Caribbean. No one would understand a word you said.

You can hide here. For a while. At least until the authorities offer a larger reward.