Q: What is the name of the grid system used to plot points on a globe?

A: That's a proprietary device I invented, for use in planning world domination.

I call it the Dominatron 2120.

Everything's always named 2000 this or something 3000. I wanted to mix it up.

I have no intention of selling it. It's mostly for personal use.

As you can see, the grid fits nicely over any standard globe hologram.

The green triangles indicate my various subterranean lairs.

The red circles are cities where I control the government.

The blue squares show the deployment of my gorilla army.

The black hearts?

Those must be smudges.

Damn.

I thought I turned those off.

You weren't supposed to see them.

Okay, fine.

Those are the homes of girls who I fancied in high school and college.

Please don't write about that in your article.

I'd hate to lose the respect of the entire megalomaniac community.

They all do it for money and power. I just want to make some girls jealous.

Seriously, who wouldn't love a man who controls a whole gorilla army?

I mentioned that the gorillas ride on rhinos, right?

Make sure you put that in your article.

And make sure you send a copy to the Ithaca College Alumni Association. And the Mount Greylock Regional High School Facebook page.